Performance

I have been thinking about the word “Performance.” In the context of my federal career performance was something measured, assessed, expected, and defined by others - or in one word, judged. As managers, we did our best to be objective about this judgement. We set out to assess performance on behaviors, not personality. We used written criteria to compare performance across our subordinates, ranking them from 1 to n based on how well they performed the expected behaviors. The aim was to judge fairly and consistently, giving everyone a chance to shine. As employees, we aimed to exceed the base standards, hoping our performance would catch the eye and earn recognition.

Recently, someone suggested that I play with the idea of ‘enjoyment without performance.’ It doesn’t come naturally, but I have been seeking enjoyment without outcomes, rest without guilt, and connections without expectations. Yesterday at an improv class, I tried to lean into this challenge. That might seem counterintuitive - after all, isn’t improv about learning to perform? Sure, but with a good instructor, it is not so performative as it is expressive. There is almost no structure, no criteria, no judgement. It’s about leaning in with courage, listening to what’s happening around you, and weaving yourself into it. The less attached you are to an outcome, the better the performance.

What does the word performance mean to you? How tightly is it controlled in your environment? Can you truly enjoy the experience and be fulfilled in this performance? Does it connect you or detach you from your team?